Time for New Glasses?

Meekness-a calm temper of mind, not easily provoked, humble, willing to suffer under oppression. Easton's Bible Dictionary.

None of us are neutral when it comes to understanding how the world works. We all have a huge depository of experiences, images, memories and a whole lot of other stuff that contributes to what we believe and why. Our total set of beliefs or assumptions is called our worldview. Think of your worldview as a pair of lenses you use to see the world. Imagine what happens if you put on the wrong pair of glasses. What you see can be blurry. But, imagine putting on the right pair of glasses and everything you see becomes crystal-clear.

Sometimes we can have a distorted view of ourselves and others. I noticed I can often be harder on myself than I need to be. But there are plenty of times when I go easy on myself when I truly need to be convicted and repentant. I know I need an outside point of view to keep me focused on becoming more like Jesus. I need a constant reminder that my own worldview needs transformation. I need to start with me before I set out to change the world for someone else.

This may appear amazingly easy or even cliche. But, just because I envision a concept in my mind about how the world should work or how my relationships should go doesn't mean my worldview or relationships are working well or healthy. Healthy world views and relationships require transformed hearts not just transformed brains.

So, can we know our hearts are being transformed? I think we can begin by identifying some Christ-like behaviors like humility, teachability, patience during suffering and being willing to follow gospel teaching even when the teaching collides with the world views of others. Our confidence rests clearly on the power of God's word and the active presence of the Holy Spirit in our lives. Do a little self-assessment this week. Get your vision tested. Is it time for a new pair of glasses?

Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Matthew 5:5

Exceptions Not the Rule

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 5:3 NRSV

Have you ever wondered what motivates people to do good things? Why does someone give their seat to an elderly person on a crowded bus or train? Why does someone give back the incorrect change in the grocery line?  Why would someone purposely allow another person to go ahead of them in a long line? Why do some people work tirelessly with the poor?

People practice acts of kindness everyday. But, I wonder if the actions I just described are exceptions not the rule. I witness acts of aggression and omission on a daily basis. Truthfully, I am not always as kind as I need to be. I sometimes struggle with how I can respond to a certain situation. There have been times when I knew God was prompting me to respond in a way that would honor him but disobediently did what I thought was right in my own eyes.

Maybe it's time we all take some time to seriously consider how close to Christ we really are and discover together how much work we still have to do. The season of Lent begins with Ash Wednesday. The initiation into the Lenten season is a stark reminder, "From ashes you have come and to ashes you will return." Lent can be a season of introspection. We can discover what motivates us to do good things. We are commanded to become more like Christ honoring all he has already accomplished and work toward the reconciliation of our world. Let's do some introspection together and help each other along the way.

All the believers were in one heart and mind. No one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they shared everything they had. Acts 4:32 NIV

First Seek to Understand

Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding. Proverbs 4:7 NIV 

Seek first to understand. This sentence has been a guide and a convicting agent for change in me when it comes to conflict. I try to consider all sides of an argument or what's fueling behavior in people when conflict escalates. I notice how abruptly people can change. Maybe you have too. The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde was written in 1886 by a Scottish writer Robert Louis Stevenson. The novella explored how dual personalities can exist within one person. The title influenced a common reference to a radical behavior change people often refer to as Jekyll and Hyde. Evidently, many people seek to understand the conflict within us.

I think self-assessment is an excellent spiritual discipline to practice. The work of transformation can begin with our internal world. We can seek to understand what's going on within us spiritually, psychologically, emotionally and physically. But, I don't think our journey ends there. I think God calls us to more.

I think it's tempting to limit our understanding to personal conflict often because it takes up so much of our time and energy. John Paul Lederach suggests there is one guiding question that needs to drive our desire for transformation. He challenges us to consider how we can end something not desired and build something we do desire. Lederach suggests the work of reconciliation is more than personal. It's the gospel message for the lost and broken world.

Reconciliation is God's intention for all of humanity. Our mission is to align ourselves with God who is working to reconcile all things to himself. God's desire is to bless all families on the earth. The Apostle Paul describes this dynamic vision of the new humanity as possible through Christ Jesus. He is the first-born of the new creation. He provides the possibility of a new relationship. Jesus acted decisively. He moved toward people, pain and conflict. His desired outcome is a new relationship. As followers of Christ, our mission is to move toward people, pain and conflict where ever they are in the world.

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream. Many believe it was God's great dream for humanity. Let's dream together and imagine what could happen if we embraced such a transformational vision. What action are we being mobilized to take? Where is the risk or greatest conflict emerging? Imagine the new relationships that could be waiting to be forged. Our faith beckons us to join the cloud of witnesses who wait in eager anticipation of what the people of God can do.  

"For he himself is our peace, who has made the two groups one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility, by setting aside in his flesh the law with its commands and regulations. His purpose was to create in himself one new humanity out of the two, thus making peace, and in one body to reconcile both of them to God through the cross, by which he put to death their hostility." Ephesians 2:14-16 NIV

Management by Hand Grenade

"Conflict is an opportunity, a gift."  John Paul Lederach

There is an elephant in the middle of the room but no one wants to talk about it. But, then, someone makes a comment. Another person chimes in. Soon there is a heated argument. Words are said. Accusations are made. People get up out of their chairs and leave. Some people leave in brooding sulking silence and others leave with an insulting comment or a threat.

This scenario is sometimes called 'managing by hand grenade' in the business world. Executive coach, Scott Elbin wrote a clever blog to give us some tips on how to handle a hand grenade in our in-box.

I wonder sometimes, if we're too quick to find solutions to issues when God asks us to care about people. When it comes to becoming more like Christ and leading by his example, I think about how much time he spent building relationships with people. It's pretty clear the issues were second on the list. The issue at hand can easily be resolved once we decide that a new relationship is what Jesus is asking us to work on and a new relationship is what's necessary in this situation.

So, what if we can diffuse the hand grenade before it goes off? I think we begin by acknowledging our own behavior in the situation. First, identify our own hurts, habits and hang-ups with how we personally respond when conflict rises. We have to understand what goes on inside us. Sometimes we contribute to the awkward or volatile situation without realizing it. So, begin with a surrendered Christ-honoring frame of mind then ask how you might lead in this situation. Observe and learn, first alone with Christ and then with others. Once we are surrendered to Christ and his leadership in this situation, we can begin with trying to understand people and then the issue.

"For he himself is our peace, who has made the two groups one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility..." Ephesians 2:14NIV

Why Settle for Conflict Management?

Reconcile: to restore friendship or harmony; to make consistent or congruous; to cause to submit or accept something unpleasant (Merriam-Webster On-line Dictionary)

Conflict is rarely easy to negotiate. Many people avoid it like the plague. It can occupy a lot of our energy whether we are conflicted about a relationship or about the way things are going around the world. Deep conflicts are often stressful and painful. At worst, they are violent and destructive. Yet, at the same time, conflict can be transforming and intensely spiritual. We might even propose conflict to be an open pathway toward revelation and reconciliation. 

Conflict is normal. It's part of our human relationships. But, conflict transformation may be a new perspective for us to consider. Many business and professional models use conflict management tools instead of considering a different approach like conflict transformation. Why settle for managing conflict when we can experience transformation through it?

The Apostle Paul has a lot to say about reconciliation. In the New Testament book of Colossians, Paul links our human need for reconciliation with our primary relationship with God. At one time, we were all alienated from God and were enemies of him. But, God, himself reconciled us through Christ. Paul suggests that our atonement is not limited to the one-time sacrifice of Jesus Christ that satisfies our individual debt. He emphasizes atonement as a personal, social and political process of reconciliation and healing. Holiness (being Christ-like) is carried out through people who embody the reconciling love of God and take up residence in real-life problems and relationships--with all the ambiguity they bring.

We begin in new series called Reconcile this Sunday. I pray this series will bring new insights and help equip you to handle conflicts in a God-honoring way whether you are a seasoned pro at handling conflict or someone who is in need to some new tools. I look forward to seeing you in church. You might want to invite someone to come with you so you can start a conversation and learn together.

For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him,  and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross. Colossians 1:19 NIV